A whole lot of people are hoping to be cursed tonight.  The Powerball Lottery is worth over half a billion dollars.  You’ve all heard about how people, who win, have their life turned upside down in a bad way, and some winners have said that it wasn’t worth it.  Wasn’t worth it?  Having financial security for the rest of your life not worth it?  What a horrible thing to have happen to you.  And that’s why millions of people are hoping to be cursed tonight.

No one wants to be cursed.  No one wants bad things to happen to them, but bad things happen to people everyday, so when it happens to you, wouldn’t it be nice to be able to buy your way out of it?  It works for politicians, why not you.


But Q, what about all those “normal” people who won the lottery and they’re life went to sh&t?


You might be thinking of Jack Whittaker.  Jack won nearly $315 million in 2002.  He started out being very generous.  He gave away millions to charities, including $14 million to start his own foundation.  Later, we heard about all the bad things that started happening, like having half a million stolen from his car.  Yea, he was parked outside of a strip club.  O.K.  first off, what are you doing carrying around half a million in cash, second, if you are carrying a fortune in cash around with you, for the love of God, stay away from the peeler bars .  Of course once that story got out every Tom, Dick, and Harry robber know you carry around cash, so of course your office and home get broken into.  Was that a curse, or just stupidity?


Whoever wins tonight your life will change so, use common sense.  If you can’t get a date to save your life, then suddenly super models are hitting on you, yea, they want your money.  No one saying you can’t cut yourself off a slice, but don’t bitch and wine when the super models boyfriend pops a cap in your ass when you put her in the will.

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It comes down to this.  Are you a good person?  That’s the question you have to ask yourself.  If you are, you’ll be a good person whether you’re rich or poor.  If you’re an evil spawn of Satan, then you’ll be an evil spawn whether you’re rich or poor.  Only difference is you can do evil on a bigger stage.  Isn’t that correct Dr. Evil?


You read in Jamie’s story of what people around here would do if they won.  My answer was simple.  Retire the folks.  They’ve sacrificed their life for me, the least I can do is give them everything they want.  The next thing you should do is to remove yourself from the situation.  Relatives and “friends” who haven’t talked to you for years will be crawling out of the woodwork.  If you do decide to give them money, don’t put any demands on it, just give them the cash and make sure they know that this all they get.  And for the love of God, don’t tell them they’re in your will.  Jesus balls!  You might as well blow your own head off, because they sure as hell do it if they get the chance.  Just find an evil lawyer, a competent business guy, and buy a piece of land away from everyone and do what you want till you die.  Good luck and God Bless.

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