It was back in 1943 that a pair of brothers said to the world...

"Drop the quill and grab our pen bitches!"

O.K. they might not have said that, but we weren't there were we. They were brothers Laszlo and Gyorgy Biro, and they are credited with the invention of the ballpoint pen and obtained a patent in June of 1943.

They somehow figured out how to deliver the ink in an even amount without clogging issues and blotching problems.

In celebration of their patent, we're supposed to write a letter to someone or use the hashtag #BallpointPenDay on the social media pages.

The problem the brothers didn't solve was how to stop people from stealing your pens. You see, I buy my own pens. I like a good pen. So when someone "borrows" my pen I lose my mind. I slip into some type of caveman mentality.

I had an old boss who would come by my desk and "borrow" my pen. I would see him in the hall later chewing on the pen as he contemplated on why he was such ass.

"Should I feel bad about stealing the fat guys' pen then trying to eat it from the ass up? Nope, I don't think I do feel bad."

Well, he started to feel bad about it after I invented the perfect way to stop a pen thief.

Here's what you do. Take your pen into the bathroom with you. Then take the back of the pen, you know, the part where big balls of dung like to chew on, and rub it up and down in your crotch. Right in the crevices where the ball sweat likes to linger. Or, if you lack "balls", stick it in the crack of your butt and twerk. Then put the pen on your desk and wait.

Amazingly I only had to "ball sweat" three pens before he caught on.

Happy Ballpoint Pen Day everyone!

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