That soccer thing is coming up, you may have heard. So, to get your pump primed and stuff, let's quickly do a knockdown of the top five soccer movies of all time. No, really. There're some good ones on this list.

First up, the feel good Brit soccer comedy Bend It Like Beckham, following the relationship between two young girls, their love of football and the driving spirit of the ridiculously handsome English football dude who talks like a twelve year old. Big fun.

Then there's Mean Machine, starring the lovable cuddly Vinnie Jones in a Brit transposition of the Burt Reynold's 'Merican football classic, The Longest Yard. It's short, punchy and miles better than the Adam Sandler desecration of the same material.

Sidenote: here's Mr. Jones again playing a soccer hooligan in the best scene from the film European Road Trip.

Kicking over to the third position, it's Will Ferrel from his sports movie period, starring as a suburban dad who transforms into a maniac when he becomes the coach of his son's unruly soccer team, pitted against his own domineering dad. It was directed by Bob Dylan's son. Go figure.

Coming up the scoring position, it's our number two football (soccer) movie, Victory, from 1981 starring Sly Stallone and Michael Caine and a buncha wacky nazis and MOTHER FRICKIN PELE'!

And our number one soccer movie? It's Stephen Chow's Shaolin Soccer. This movie is all over everywhere, a live action Loony Tune of the highest order. Anything can happen, even out of now where dance sequences and Bruce Lee references. Own this one right now.

 

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