K-101.7’s Dave In The Cave! GET TO KNOW HIM!

Sure you hear our voices on the radio, but what do you really know about us, your K-101.7 Airstaff? Interested? Of course you are! READ ON!  Here then, in effort to pull the curtain of mystery aside, I give you the first in a series of articles designed by our crack team of writers to help you GET TO KNOW US! First up, from the K-101.7 Morning Show, we present the resume of DAVE IN THE CAVE! (*applause*)

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DAVE (in the) CAVE (Abramowitz)
Phone: (763) 555-5555
Email: IreallyDigfatChicks@Hahapants.com

OBJECTIVE: Registered Medical Laboratory Technician requiring extensive experience with success in pediatrics and at a trauma emergency hospital. Ha ha, not really! I just wanna spin music for tens of people, crack funny into a barely operating microphone and die poor, fat and happy. You know, for kids.

SUMMARY OF SKILLS AND EXPERIENCE

LAB TECHNICIAN-- Highly skilled music spinner technologist with years of experience ignoring listener requests, reading the weather when everybody has access to a window and of course Stab-Room Trauma Unit experience, because not everybody appreciates having their request for "Danny's Song" laughed at.

PHLEMBOTOMY-- I don't know what this is. Something to do with phlegm and...botomy? Unless this is the band Kenny Loggins was in before he went solo? I've always wanted to be in a speed metal Kenny Loggins tribute band called Danger Zone. That would be friggin' awesome. Or The Imalrights. Or Pooh Corner.

INSTRUMENT MAINTENANCE-- Skilled in troubleshooting and further breaking just about every piece of radio equipment I've ever touched.  Also accidental arson that one time I found a bullet in the parking lot and tried to microwave it at 2:30 in the morning.

TEACHING-- Responsible for poorly training staff on equipment operation and procedures that I myself actually didn't really understand. Like how to get a porkchop out of a cd player.

QUALITY CONTROL-- I have no idea what this means.

EMPLOYMENT HISTORY

KIXS, DISC JOKEY, 1988 TO 1988, HARKER HEIGHTS TEXAS
Part Timer at a radio station whose windows looked at at a mini storage and an abandoned drive in. Rocked Rick Astly, Debbie Gibson and Beach Boy records, often all at the same time. Fired for insubordination, incompetence and for showing up naked, stoned and claiming I was the Ghost Of Kenny Loggins.

The Club Years, 1988 to 1996, Various Dumps Around Central Texas...

A lot of stuff happened here, but most of it you can't talk about on a resume. My shame is deep. My regrets are many. Never date women named after inanimate objects. Never.

KOOV 1996 to 2000. COUNTRY RADIO!

Did more regretful stuff, mostly on the air, some of it in the program director office. Went back to take pictures fifteen years later. The place looked like an abandoned crime scene. Which is about right. But, hey, met the wife, Doris, here. Started a family in the news room. So to speak. Are you still reading this?

THE CLEAR CHANNEL YEARS PART ONE 2000 to 2005

Radio production, baby. Yeah. Being that squirrely guy who close a door to a recording studio and pretends to be a monkey for a local lawn care company? That's my jam, yo. For the first time ever, they gave me awards and everything.

THE CLEAR CHANNEL YEARS PART TWO 2005 to 2009

Big city radio production, baby. Well, Austin. Still, it was production with a chance to meet many famous people. Like Fall Out Boy, Larry Gatlin and Chuck Norris' toupee.

FORT HOOD RADIO! 2009 to 2012!

Built and programmed an internet radio station for the U.S. Army. Basically we threw a party and nobody came. The cash was decent, however, and we had great fun and got to meet even more famouser people! Alas, not Kenny Loggins, however.

K101.7 CENTRAL GREATEST HITS 2013 to the present.

Jamie Garrett reached out his hand and pulled me out a deep dark period of employment and here we are, host of the morning show, where I get to play ALL KENNY LOGGINS ALL THE TIME! Not really.

EDUCATION: Had some, somewhere. Most of my education was listening to the radio 101.

Ambition And Goal: TO TURN K-101.7 INTO THE MOST FUN RADIO STATION YOU'VE EVER HEARD, WHERE YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'LL HEAR NEXT BUT YOU KNOW YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT! Also, I'd like to make enough money so my kids can stopped being ashamed that I'm the exact same guy now as I was back there at the beginning of this resume.

References:   I would refer you to this awesome picture of Kenny Loggins. In the end, it's all you need, really. Thanx for everything, Kenny. You the diggity dawg, yo.

Speaking of fun, have you watched this yet? You should. You really really should.