This could be the worst day ever.

Peas and Corn. That's it. The only vegetables that make it down my gullet. I've always hated the veggie food group. Which is why I hate June 17th.

It's on this day each year that vegetables are celebrated. All those lovely things that grow in the ground where worms hang out, along with billions of other creatures of the night. So what do we do? We poison the ground so our food can grow. I'm just going to hit return a couple of times to let that sink in for a minute.


I remember the one time my parents forced me to eat a salad.

It started out good. It was juicy burgers from the grill slathered in Velveeta cheese. My favorite. But, before my dad would give me one, I had to eat a salad. I was 7-years-old.

I told them I don't like salad. They said how would I know since I never tried it? Simple I said. It grows in the ground and it's green. And Green means Gross.

They insisted. They tried to talk me into it by saying that it's not gross, it doesn't taste like anything.

Then why should I eat it?

It'll be good. We'll throw on some French dressing, which is just like ketchup.

Why not use ketchup then?

Ketchup on a salad is gross my mom said.

You understand you're not making this easy.

The bickering continued to the point of the typical parent response...

"You eat it because I said so!"

So, a bowl of romaine was placed in front of me drenched in French dressing. I took one fork full into my mouth, turned my head and spit it on the wall. My head soon followed as I took a shot across the head from dad. My parents never did try to make me eat salad again. I guess it was too hard on the wallpaper.

Today I drink my veggies with a glass of V-8 Splash.

Enjoy your horrible day you Vitamin K Freaks.

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