The folks from the upper mid-west don't call it soda, it's Pop. Because of that, we call ice cream and pop floats.

Whatever you want to call it, it's still delicious. Your favorite ice cream floating in your favorite pop, or soda, or coke, whatever, pick a name!

Growing up the go-to was always Root Beer. A quick trip to the A&W and a delicious float on a hot North Dakota day really hit the spot. Yes, North Dakota does get hot for a few days every once in a while.

These days I've been known to add some V-8 splash to my sodas. How this works is you use Sprite, or Sierra Mist, whatever, pick one, and you add a splash or 3 of some fruit punch flavored V-8 Splash. It's pretty tasty.

Of course, you take a risk when you make one of these things. Others will want to taste it. That's not going to happen. I have no idea where your mouth has been, but my overactive imagination can guess where, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

The key to not sharing without being rude is to make something that others find gross. For me, that's pumpkin. Toss in some of the canned pumpkin into the glass, some almond milk, some Sprite, stir it all up, add the ice cream and Bam! Frozen waste. Be sure to call it that when you "offer" it to others.

"You want to try some of my Frozen Waste? No? Too bad."

Don't have any pumpkin? No problem, just use vanilla ice cream and Sprite. Stir it up and name it "Frothy Discharge".

"You look like you could swallow some of my Frothy Discharge."

I should tell you that if you're at work when you say this you will be fired. F'n liberal rules you know. That stick is shoved so far up their butts it actually kills their sense of humor. Tragic really.

Now some people will say that there is something called an Ice Cream Soda that's not a float. Yes, that's true, but it sucks. They just use carbonated soda water, which is godawful. There's a reason they add flavor to it. It's because it's undrinkable otherwise.

These idiots toss some chocolate syrup into a glass, a spoonful of ice cream and the undrinkable soda water. They stir it up, then add a big scoop of ice cream on the side of the glass, and fill it up with more undrinkable soda water. I realize you might be on the verge of a good projectile vomit session right now, and for that, I apologize. But to be fair here's a video on how to destroy a good scoop of ice cream.


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